Missing?   2 comments

It’s Saturday and for the first time since August 24th, I did not talk to Zach today, and I won’t be talking to him today.  We planned to talk every Saturday and we have kept that commitment with the exception of one time it worked better to talk Sunday.

But this Saturday my oldest is incognito as far as communication is concerned.  I can’t reach him by phone, email, fax, text, message, US postal mail. Nor can I talk face to face, for the first time that I can think of.

He’s in another country on a study abroad trip, seeing new sights, having new adventures, and as Dave Barry would say, “learning new words for ‘blood transfusion'” and I’m sure he is enjoying every minute of it.

It’s just one more step down the path of the new era for me.  It’s a fantastic opportunity for him, and I am thankful that he has it, and yet it’s odd that I won’t hear anything from him nor will I be able to reach him for another week or so.

When your children are small, their times away from you are short and prescribed.  You know precisely what they are doing and when they are going to be back.

The notable exception to that would be the time you misplace your child.

Zach took a walk by himself when he was two years old.  I had been outside with him but gone back in to finish dinner, thinking it would only take me a few minutes. When I came back out fifteen minutes later he was nowhere in sight.  It was a December evening and darkness was already starting to come down.  When Greg got home from work a few minutes later, and our neighbor JB heard our situation, the two of them took off down the road two different ways, and I started up the hill, calling for Zach, and berating myself for ever letting him out of my sight.

At the top of the hill, I saw a little red-coated figure bobbing along, accompanied by JB’s dogs.  That was the most relief I think I have ever felt in my life after the longest fifteen minutes of my life.  All at once, everything that had seemed, and for all I knew, been horribly wrong, was made right again.  I knew at that moment, that my child was not a project or activity I kept busy with, but a person who was priceless and could never be replaced, and I knew then just how much his little self meant to me.

I picked him up and hurried back down the hill to let the men know he was all right, telling him I didn’t know where he was and I was so glad he was all right.  I got him back inside, sat him down on the couch, told him please to not go off again by himself like that, and he said, “I sorry. I stay.”

Well, this time I do know generally where he is, but no specifics.  That has to be enough and it is.

He is no longer a small, sweet boy who likes to be outside, looking at bugs, but a large sweet man who likes to be outside looking at bugs.

He has grown up, seems like when I wasn’t looking.  I must have been inside, just for a minute, making dinner…..

Posted December 15, 2013 by swanatbagend in parenting

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2 responses to “Missing?

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  1. Oh, my heart! (((hugs)))

  2. Thank you Lynn!

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