Parenthood   Leave a comment

I figured out at some point about ten years ago, after having been a parent for approximately 7 or 8 years, that there is no way you can repay your parents for all they did for you.

Don’t ask me why I  had the idea before this revelation that you could somehow repay that!  I didn’t really think that; I knew that financially you can never give back to your parents all the dough they sank into your food, clothes, clubs, hobbies and college education.  I knew that you can’t do enough good things to somehow balance out 18 or more years of constant love and support.  We know this intellectually.

But for whatever reason at that point I was understood the amount of sheer work it is to be a parent for 18 years since I was living parenthood myself at that point.  Living whatever it is, always brings it home.

And why that almost frustrated me I can’t say.  I’d like to somehow be good enough that they would feel all their efforts had been worth it.  But nobody can ever do 18 solid years of good stuff!

So that’s how it is.  You receive the love and care your parents give you, because that’s by definition what you do as  a child.

Of course, the first 18 years is just a start; it’s impossible to walk away from your young  just because they are old enough to survive.

Sure enough, my parents kept being helpful as I transitioned to adulthood by paying college tuition and welcoming me with enthusiasm every time I was home on break.

They were supportive throughout graduate school and when I was teaching.

Then when I started having children they would come and help out.

So somehow these wonderful people just kept adding to the list of kind things they had done for me, that I could never repay, right?

They had been thinking for several years about the possibility of moving closer to us, since for all these years they have been trekking from Denver to Kentucky.  They were hoping, someday, we’d come to them.  I understood their thinking they should be closer to us  when they get old enough to require our help, but the idea of them moving to us was so new it was difficult for me to adjust to, so my initial reaction to the idea was less than thrilled.  I suppose it’s human nature to want to have things stay the same, or even to pretend that things are staying the same.

This past winter they stayed in our area for several months to really scope out the situation and see if they would find it agreeable to live here.  After about three weeks, they decided it would suit and they could do this.

So they returned to their home state, packed up the belongings that accumulate after nineteen years in one house, and loaded up the U-Haul.  They are now settled in a patio home, have found volunteer work to do and are still visiting churches, as there are a lot to choose from and they haven’t been able to select one yet.  And it has been wonderful having them closer where we can see them on a regular basis, think every two weeks, instead of every 9 months to a year.  It’s really been fun.  Now that the change has come and they are actually here, I’m so glad.

I won’t have to travel for two days one way to get to them when they need me.  What an incredible gift.

So think about this with me: not only were they patient with my initial reaction of not being certain I thought this was a great idea…two people in their seventies have once again done something really nice, for me.

Advertisements

Posted December 19, 2013 by swanatbagend in parenting

Tagged with ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: