One step Closer   Leave a comment

One step closer to ….what?

I hope, to leaving bitterness behind.

I found out mid-November that something I had enjoyed and counted on would no longer be happening.  I was relatively upset.  I’d invested in it, enjoyed the time doing it and the interactions with the people involved, and I just felt sad that it would shortly be ending.

My usual self-defense mode seems to be to go straight on to anger and bitterness, or alternatively, to start worrying about what will replace something I’m losing or what will happen next.

So for a few hours that afternoon, I was both sad and upset.

However, something strange happened with this situation. Either someone was praying for me, which could be, but it would have to be a generic prayer, because at that point, almost nobody knew about the situation or how strongly I felt about it.  Or Someone directly intervened and removed my usual obsessive negativity over the loss of something cherished.

I’ll take either one.

But what I hope is that it lasts into the future.  I hope, I hope, I pray, that this is the beginning of me graciously letting go of people and things and situations.

I’ve been so horribly bad about that, so inclined to stew, to get angry.

Now, two months have passed, and I’m still okay.  I remain amazed.  And grateful that I’m not stuck wasting time on what isn’t any more.

I’m at an OK place being in-between.

Advertisements

Posted January 24, 2014 by swanatbagend in transitions

Tagged with

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: