Archive for April 2014

Like it or Not, It Will Change   Leave a comment

No matter what it is, how bad the day is, if it’s a horrible week, it’s good to know one thing is true — your circumstances will change.

If you’re going through a bad time, and things are just downright unpleasant, it won’t last.

Things always change.

I have always hated that this is true about the good days and the golden hours when all seems right with the world.

I’ve heard someone comment that the reason we want things that are good to last forever is because we were made for eternity.  A desire for the eternality of all that is good is engraved in our nature; it’s inescapable.

You ever have a perfect day, you can’t help wishing at some level that it would last forever.

July 7, 2007, Greg and I were hiking in the mountains west of Boulder, Colorado.  My parents kept the kids for the day, and we went out and up into the mountains, all the way to Diamond Lake.

I have never been in such a gorgeous place.  There were multitudes of wildflowers, green grass, waterfalls.  The air was cool, the sun shone, and the lake reflected an incredible blue sky.

I did not want to leave, and felt like I was sucking in each glorious minute, as if somehow by thinking about it, I could stop time.

The heart stores those days in memory and hopes to see them again sometime.  A day that incredible just cannot be lost, we think.

Knowing that the creator of all of the good stuff has eternity in hand, makes it a bit easier when we lose the good days, and get stuck in a bad time.

Thank God that things do not stay frozen in time.

The bad times won’t last, but eternity will.



Posted April 17, 2014 by swanatbagend in gratitude

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If I’da known….   Leave a comment

Sometimes it’s fun to look backwards purely for the amusement of gauging what your reaction would have been, 20 years in the past, if you had been given information about your present situation.

“What on earth?”

“I’d never do that.”

“I can’t do that!”

“I can’t believe that!” would be among the reactions I would probably have had then if you had told me with certainty that I would be doing certain things in my future.

Growing up in the west and not a particular fan of sticky heat, Florida is not a state that I would have thought I’d prefer as a relaxation destination.

However, starting in April 2008, we have gone to a lovely beach in the panhandle.  It’s not touristy and built up and there is a beautiful state park there.  The beaches are not remotely busy and there is so much wildlife we see something new every time we go.  We go in early spring, so it is still comfortable.  And there are hot showers and electricity so I can have a fan on the rare days when it really does get hot and not just warm.  So, I’ve now been to a place repeatedly, that wasn’t even on my radar as a destination ten years ago.  And I’m so glad.

Same way with parenthood.

If a seer could tell you in advance, you will have x number of kids with x and y problems and you will homeschool every single one of them through high school graduation, you would run screaming into the night.

Or just give up entirely on the whole idea of having children.  I know I would have.

“That’s way more than I can handle.  I”m a coward (still am) and I know I cannot do that.  That is some other woman you’re thinking of.”

But thankfully, we don’t get a preview.  We just get to live it — and it is just one day at a time.

Or “one step at a time,” my favorite helpful life saying that my oldest son hates.

It may be annoying but I still think it’s true.  And thank heavens for that.



Posted April 15, 2014 by swanatbagend in parenting

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Re-Entry   Leave a comment

What is with this re-entry thing?   It hit me Monday morning, first thing, and it almost makes me wish I hadn’t gone on a vacation.

I know it isn’t just me, because while on my vacation I talked with a mother of 9 about this very thing.  The routine, the stress, the feeling that gee I should be rested and refreshed, but why am I just so darn crabby now that I am back home?

It was a very peaceful vacation also.  It was camping, which involves a certain amount of work that you don’t have at home, but it’s all basic, physical stuff, that is great because it empties my mind of any worries back home.  I usually find it difficult to follow an intellectual thread to its conclusion when I am camping.

Need I say, I love that.  It’s a really nice change from normal life.

So we ate, we went out to the beach, we hung out with friends, roasted s’mores, beached, slept, napped, rested, ate, and repeated.  Not too stressful.

So I know I didn’t overdo it.

And all I had to do the last two days were 1. ride back and 2. make dinner and 3. help set up and break camp.  Easy.


Why am I so tired and crabby this week?  Did I do something wrong?

What can I do differently?

I’m lying down each day for a while.  I’m not doing anything extra that we don’t normally do.

And then there is the usual question I keep asking, each morning, just like I always do after returning from a trip.  (And just as regularly, I forget before I go that this annoying phase will occur when I get back.)

The question is….why do I feel so crabby?

I suspect I only have another couple of days and we’ll be okay again.   Just wish I could skip the whole re-entry transition.

I think a week at the beach would be just the ticket, right about now.

Posted April 11, 2014 by swanatbagend in mental health

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