Archive for August 2014

Sensitivity   Leave a comment

If there is one word you could use to describe me, this would be it.

I’m emotionally sensitive, morally sensitive, physically sensitive, sensorily sensitive, and probably several other kinds of sensitive.

I can’t handle conflict amongst friends or even acquaintances and will sometimes literally go hide.

I feel horrible when something comes up that I think is wrong which I can do nothing about, or if I have done something wrong, I find it difficult to receive forgiveness and stop feeling guilt.

When I take a new medication or supplement, about 75% of the time, you guessed it, I have to discontinue said substance because it causes side effects, often side effects that I am not “supposed” to be experiencing.

I don’t go to concerts, aside from classical music, because they are just too loud, too many people, too many lights.  I can’t watch a scary or intense movie before bedtime, because I get so into it that I cannot go to sleep.

Shoot, I can’t even finish a difficult book all in one sitting.  I have checked out Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch twice and I still haven’t finished it.  I’ve got about 130 pages to go and I’m so connected with Theo Decker that I think I am him or his mother or Pippa.  And I just can’t keep reading right now.  I have to step back and find a safer place for a while.

My father in law once said, when I got my fur rubbed the wrong way by one of his off-hand comments, that I was just too sensitive.

At the time I was offended, but now I fully agree.  He was right!  I am.

I might as well be a red-head, which would have been some compensation, because I definitely fit the stereotype of thin-skinned and hot-tempered!  And furthermore, sunlight doesn’t make me tan.  I either burn or make more freckles…..

My life would be more straightforward and I would waste a lot less time getting my feelings hurt, if I weren’t so sensitive.

So I wonder, what is the good of this ridiculous sensitivity?

Posted August 29, 2014 by swanatbagend in identity

Tagged with

I think I’m having some kind of withdrawal   Leave a comment

So every year for the past four years, our family has packed up our gear, hooked up the pop-up trailer, and gone on a camping trip.

We really traveled.  We went to the Southwest, to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, back to the southwest to see more of Arches and Capitol Reef and to meet Canyonlands for the first time.  Then last year, we went to South Dakota, Montana and Wyoming to see the Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Devils Tower, Bighorn Canyon, the Helena area, Hebgen Lake, Yellowstone and Grand Teton.

So, yes, we have done a lot of camping and traveling.  It was a good bit of work, but hey…it was fun!

My parents took us camping starting when I was about 9 and my brother was 2, and we moved around a lot because Dad had itchy feet.  So maybe I get this tendency from him.  I also got used to living west of the Mississippi where the air isn’t quite so thick and where you can see for miles.

I’m glad I got to go camping all those times.  I know many people who haven’t had those opportunities.

I have found a down side to it though.

When you’re used to going every year, staying home seems a bit tame.

I had thought maybe we would camp this fall, but after 2013’s epic list of trips (see previous posts), my man declined to take us all out in the pop up again.

However, it was only after he told me about a dream he had that I truly understood how different our responses to these incredible trips had been.

“I had this dream,” he told me.

“In it, the van was attached to the pop-up.  There was also a hitch on the front of the van.”

“Attached to the front of the van was a bicycle…and guess who was riding it?”

“Who?” I asked.

“Me,” he replied.  “I was pulling the entire rig myself using the bicycle, with all of you in the van yelling suggestions out the windows.”

I am pretty sure that, among other things, this might mean we are not going camping this year.


Well, he is correct that we will save time, money, wear on the van, and a whole lot of effort.  I have actually gotten quite a few projects done this year that have been on my list for probably months, if not a couple of years.  And we have gotten to enjoy a normal summer — we’ve been blessed to participate in three graduations, one wedding, one Fourth of July with two different sets of friends, berry picking with friends and family and each other, and a host of other summer delights.

And it’s weird that I want to keep going on these excursions, since I’m not exactly a high-powered high energy person.  I’m nothing like the Testosterone Trio, 3 guys we camped next to at Zion, who were loading up to go rock climbing starting before daylight.  It’s not like I’m getting up at 5 a.m. to go hike 10 miles each day while we’re out.  I’m neither a morning person nor a night owl.  So…..why do I want to go?

I just love being on the move and being in wide open incredible spaces.

I’m glad we took so many pictures of Grand Teton and Yellowstone and Utah.  No description can do these places justice, so I’m not going to try in this post.  I can look at them and remind myself that I was really there.  And blessed to be there.

But when I see the pictures part of me just wants to go back.

Can we leave tomorrow?


Posted August 5, 2014 by swanatbagend in reflections

Tagged with , ,

I Was Just Kidding (Zucchini Again)   Leave a comment

Our last zucchini hurrah (for this year).

After all those main and side dishes, I remembered one more I like.  I don’t make it often, but if you are willing to make a pie crust, it is worth the effort.  If you have a lot of zucchini and you want a dessert that is not bread, muffins, or bars, this is for you.

Also, this is great for using up those stealth zucchinis that get too big.  Well maybe just one of them.  Or two.

Zucchini “Apple” Pie

4 cups sliced zucchini, cooked until tender crisp

2 T. lemon juice

dash salt

To prepare the zucchini for cooking, peel, cut in quarters lengthwise, seed, and slice crosswise.  They will be sort of apple-shaped.

Then mix in a bowl

1 1/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp. cream of tartar

dash nutmeg

3 T. flour.

After this is mixed, add the zucchini and mix well.  It will be runny, but that’s OK.  Dump the filling into a large pie crust and dot with butter. Add the top crust and bake at 400 forty minutes or until golden brown.

I’d serve this warm with ice cream. See how many people you can fool.

Posted August 4, 2014 by swanatbagend in food

Tagged with