Loyalty   Leave a comment

This trait is probably the one most valued by someone with Asperger’s syndrome.

At our house, that runs in the family, and as I think about my sons, myself, and others I know, if I think about how we are and how we expect other people to be….this would be the word.

We just can’t be any other way.

Where it gets hard for us is when we just can’t comprehend why others aren’t the same way.

I guess I’m writing this to explain how we think.  Who knows if I speak for every Aspie out there, but I’m guessing most could at least relate.  And I’m not saying we are always perfectly loyal or that some of you couldn’t call me on my own personal exceptions…just that this is our strong tendency.

Once you have gained my loyalty, it is yours for life.  It could change, I suppose, but it would take a really huge violation of trust for that to happen.  If you are a kind person who reaches out to me, I acknowledge that and appreciate it.  I am then likely to consider you a casual friend.

If you spend time with me on a regular basis, and we have a good time together, I will consider you a friend.

And if you are a friend, you are a treasure, and a very valued part of my life.

Even if I don’t communicate by email or Facebook or phone, when I see you again, I will pick up right where we left off.

I will come to your birthday parties, to your barbeques, to your graduations, and your funerals, and I will do it gladly.

When you have a problem or need, if I possibly can,  I will do what I can to help you.

If I do communicate, you can count on Christmas cards, emails, and notes when things are hard for you.  Even if you don’t respond for years, I’m likely to keep sending you cards, because you are still important to me.  You are still loved and cared for.

And I just don’t understand, honestly, if you stop talking to me, or if you lose interest in communicating, and if you manage to disappear out of my life like a wisp of smoke.  It will not make sense to me.  Aspies are black and white in their thinking, and a friend is a friend is a friend.  Forever.

So, now you know.

Just in case you’d ever wondered why we behave as we do, why we don’t just let friends disappear after they move away, or when some certain amount of time has elapsed. We just don’t do that.

It’s who we are.



Posted October 7, 2014 by swanatbagend in identity

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