Thought I had that one…   Leave a comment

Well, poo.

I thought I had that one.  The sermon this a.m. was about two parts of Ephesians 4: putting away anger and giving affirmation more than criticism.  I know that I have an anger and bitterness problem, but I have been making a point over the past couple of years to affirm my children, especially the youngest, within the awareness that I need to speak truth and love and good things into his life.  I know that telling him the positive character traits that I see in him and the good choices he makes will encourage him and do more good for him than it would if I were focusing primarily on criticism in my effort to deal with his behaviors.  Speak life, you know.  And that is really making a difference.  I’m seeing it helping him, and I know it helps me.

So I was thinking that my family had surely noticed this trend.

On they way home in the car, I followed up with what Lisle suggested we do.  I asked my spouse and children how I was doing.  I said, “I know you might be worried that I will get mad if you tell me the truth.  But honestly, I really want to know.  How can I do better in this?”

I guess I was hoping I would get kudos for my progress with affirmation.  Or, I knew that someone would likely bring up my notorious temper.  These things would not have surprised me.

But life is just full of surprises.

I did not know that the way I respond to new ideas from my husband is hurtful to him.  Had no idea.  Once he explained why it made perfect sense; I wouldn’t want him to respond in a grump every time I bring up something I would like to try or some new idea.

It’s one of those things where I know I do that.  It is just me having trouble changing gears and being flexible, which is nothing new.  And he has known for years that’s why I react that way, and has been cutting me some merciful slack all this time.

But I did not realize it was affecting him that way.

 

 

 

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Posted November 2, 2014 by swanatbagend in character

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