Bittersweet   Leave a comment

My twenty year old son called me last week to tell me he needed to change our plans for the date he would need to be picked up from college.  It wasn’t that his final schedule had changed and he could leave earlier.  It actually was that something else had come up, and he needed to stay longer in his university town.

Honestly, when he calls these days, if I don’t get to the phone, I don’t always recognize the voice coming out of the answering machine, especially if it’s at a distance and I’m doing something in the kitchen.

All I know at first is that a man is leaving a voice message.

I call back.  “What’s up?”

“I need to change the day you come pick me up.  Dr. Cassetti just told me about a kids’ entomology camp they have here each summer.  The training is Thursday.”

Our plan had been for Wednesday, which is when the dorm closes anyway.  (That is, it was our second plan, the original had been to leave right after his last final on Tuesday, but we ditched that as too crazy.)  So, he says he wants to find somewhere to stay, move his dorm stuff out, and get to this training.

“How about I come get you after the training on Thursday?”

“Well, that would mean we’d be traveling during dinner time, and that always makes you grumpy.”

I laugh.  “True, but as long as I can stop for a hamburger, I’ll be all right.–But is there some other reason you’d rather I not come on Thursday?”

“There are some things I haven’t been able to get to that I need to wrap up at the lab.”

He’s working with a professor there who is doing termite research.  End of semester is always very busy, and he was taking organic chemistry this semester, on top of other commitments, so I’m not surprised there are loose ends.

What does surprise me is the sweet: he has so much going on that’s good that he needs to stay there longer

and the bitter: he’ll be home later than I expected.

He is going back this summer to continue his work with the termite research.  I think he has already accumulated maybe six credit hours working with the termites?  He has a sublet apartment, and a part-time paid job.  Now, he’s adding in the summer camp for kids.  You should see him telling children about the wonders of insects.  He lights up.  Like a firefly, if I may be pardoned the expression.

It felt odd that his reason to stay longer wasn’t really because he was concerned about my not getting dinner Thursday evening (although that was certainly a concern), but that it was because he had further work he needed to do.

I don’t actually know who moved him out of the dorm.  Or if the camp is paid work.  If he got some of my last emails, or, really a dozen other factoids about what he’s doing right this minute.

This plan, this life, this summer internship, is a good thing.  A really, really good thing.

But at the same time, I know that he travels on in his life toward his future–where by definition I cannot follow.

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Posted May 21, 2016 by swanatbagend in motherhood, parenting

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