Parallel Lives   Leave a comment

When your children are little, you live in the illusion that you know their lives completely.  You spend all your time together, most often very near, nursing them, changing their diapers and holding them, sleeping next to them.  It follows that as they grow you are still so near that you know their lives very well.  Or at least you think you do.  Within all of us is the tendency to do what research says babies do–assume that what they feel or perceive is what their mothers also feel and perceive.  And maybe some of that is going on.

As your child gets older, he ventures forth into the world for several hours at a time, and more and more as he grows up.

I don’t know when the moment will come for you.  It probably depends on your life choices and your child’s temperament, and on yours as well. Since I homeschooled all three of mine, we spent most of our time together.  I didn’t have six to eight hours a day where the kids were away.  We weren’t doing things together all the time, not by a long shot, but we shared our space and our lives in a way that you just don’t unless you’re together that much.

So, there will come a point at which you realize that there’s a separate life out there, doing its thing.  And while you will rejoice at that reality, and be thankful for your child’s maturity because, yes, that is the goal–there will be a longing to have it both ways.

I love the companionship we share and I don’t want it to end.  I’m interested in my son’s thoughts, his work, his days.  After years of sharing that with him, I can’t disconnect without wishing there were a way to be both places at the same time.  I long to travel both the arc of my life and the life of my child.

I don’t want to miss anything.

 

Posted August 6, 2018 by swanatbagend in motherhood

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