Twenty-three years ago today I stepped into the circle of life. I had a baby son.
Days, weeks, month become years.
Little ones become big ones.
And here’s what I know.
I can’t control outcomes. I work now and live now, while looking back occasionally to my past, a past in which I did not know how important living now is. I didn’t know what my part was to play. I still don’t. I just do my part–I carry my leaf section as valiantly and faithfully as I can. I want to learn to be content, and to acknowledge that all my opportunities are just gifts.
I see myself being ushered in twenty-three years ago to the phase of my life that I am now close to ending. I had no idea how the path was going to unwind before me then. I can only see it looking back.
Perhaps what I think about my inability to make things turn out the way I think they should is false–but that’s the view from here, approaching the last several years of my career as a homeschooling mom. I don’t think I am going to find a way to get more control over the daily events of my life and the behaviors of others and the things that happen to me as I get older. I really doubt that there is a secret of control I just haven’t discovered yet.
I still have no idea where the path unwinding will lead me. I just know that I’m going to keep going. I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to live right on. I’m thankful that I am watching my children grow up, and that I’m still walking beside them, for a few more miles, on this part of the journey.
I just can’t believe that the time has passed so quickly.