Archive for the ‘future’ Tag

Freedom   Leave a comment

The first track on Michael W. Smith’s album Freedom gave me a vision once.  In the years after it happened, there were times I wasn’t sure it would come to pass.  But in June, my son did what I saw him doing 17 years earlier.  My son did launch, and it wasn’t his first plane trip.  He took a flight back to his life on the other end of the continent.

It was one of those unforgettable moments–not the flight departure this year, but the time when he was just five years old.  His baby sister was sick that morning and I didn’t want to take her out in order to get him to his morning preschool.  I asked his dad to do the taxi job for me.

My husband was able to do that, and as they left for town I was sitting on the couch near an upstairs window with the baby.  The Subaru Loyale pulled out of the driveway; I glimpsed my boy in the passenger window.  For some reason I already had music playing that a.m. and the first track of Smith’s album was on.  I swear it’s true; the final transition of the piece where the music soars upward into the future was playing at that very moment.

Nobody else had ever taken my son to preschool before.  He’d always been with me.  This was the first time, and he was leaving me.  Just for a few seconds then, I got a glimpse of the future.

It’s come back to me every time I hear that music.  That look into the future, that insane moment in which one leaps forward months and years to something different.  It’s so crazy.

That moment is totally in the past.  But for me, I think it will remain eternally the present.

Posted August 1, 2018 by swanatbagend in motherhood, waiting

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No Good Thing   Leave a comment

Every so often, and much more than I would like, something or some one I thought was essential to my existence goes away.

It can be a friend, a store I liked to shop at, something as small as a flower or plant in the yard that just gives up the ghost.  It’s actually not usually anything big, thank heavens.  Also, more than likely I won’t notice the something small or medium that’s gone, until it’s been a couple years down the road, because you know how those things are–you usually don’t lose something all at once.  It just fades.

So my funny example is Yahoogroups.  Mailing lists and groups used to be all the rage.  Just such a list kept my sanity through many years when my children were small.  I am still in contact with the friends I made there.  Contact is rare, though not finished (thanks to social media, which is usually another of God’s good gifts).  However, those Yahoogroups that I could not have lived without 15, 10 years ago?  Today, they are mainly silent, and mostly extinct.  I only know of two that are still going, with diminished volume.  I had just gotten used to having a safe place to vent and share my heart!  Life has moved on to other means of doing things, and I do feel the loss.

I am thankful for what it was while it lasted, and today, I strung these thoughts together as a way to acknowledge the change and what I miss, but what I’m looking toward:

Lord, thank you for the good gifts you gave me today.

Thank you for each thing good about today, even though I know I may not receive these gifts again.

Thank you that, even if after today there’s a long blank in my life, I know that in the far future all will be good, better than I can imagine.

And I thank you that some day, the far future will be near.


Posted February 8, 2015 by swanatbagend in reality

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