Archive for the ‘reflections’ Tag

Are you sure I’m Wonder-Mom?   Leave a comment

I might be, but only if the definition is “someone who wonders what the heck she’s doing as a mom.”

That much I could agree with!

I thought of this when a couple of people reassured me on Facebook after a parental fail that I was being too hard on myself (probably true as I have a history of that)  and then one friend told me she thought I was Wonder-mom.

And I was like, wow, you have totally got to be kidding me!

I appreciate the vote of confidence, I really do.  But I can tell you there is a long road of mistakes behind me.

There is for every single mother because there is no parenting manual for your child, since he is completely unique.  Then there’s you, also completely unique, with your own history, strengths and weaknesses.  Now you can try to find a how-to book….but when I was a new mother, one of the first things I  noticed was that you could pick up any book about parenting, and almost all of them would tell you their methods were fail-proof.

However, one book asserted that the Bible teaches that children need to follow a schedule and the sooner you get them used to it, the better off everyone will be.  I’m thinking of a book about babies here, don’t know what they would have said about older children as I’ve slept since then and don’t remember, but let’s just say it came from the traditional camp.

Then there was the other book that encouraged me to attachment parent, because attachment parenting was really the only way to meet my baby’s needs in a loving, Biblical way.

Since I couldn’t put these two together, I just left them both behind.

You have to figure out how to mother your child on your own, trial and error.

And believe me, there will be plenty of error.  Even when you have the best intentions, and even when you are truly doing the right thing in any given situation, the crazy thing about parenting, is that you will still damage your child.  You won’t mean to, heavens no, but in this fallen world, you aren’t going to do it right, even though you want to.  It’s just not possible.

That’s one of the things I really, really hate about being a mom.  I hurt my kids.

There a couple of others: I can’t make things turn out all happy for everyone.  I can’t make everything all better. It goes by too fast.  It’s scary.  Those are a few.

Yea, so, there you are.  My definition of Wonder-Mom.  A Mom who wonders what she’s doing.

Let me know when you find the other kind of Wonder-Mom.  I’d love to meet her.

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Posted October 4, 2014 by swanatbagend in parenting

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When does Jesus show up?   Leave a comment

In John 21:4, Jesus shows up after the disciples are out for a night of fishing, in which they haven’t caught a thing.  He shows up on the bank and has some advice for them.  “Cast your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

Interesting that they listened, since they hadn’t when this happened before.  And these men were professionals; they knew what they were doing.

But all that they had done hadn’t worked.   And that’s when Jesus showed up.

He showed up when he was needed, when they were ready to listen.  My natural instinct is to do things my way, but it takes times like that when nothing is working for me to really be ready to listen.

I don’t have to live trying to look good and make it work, I can live in my place of weakness and be (learn to be that is) perfectly content with that reality.

And as Peter leaps out of the boat and swims toward Jesus after this bizarre record catch, when he sees his own inability to perform, so can I “leap out of the boat.”  In every failure, I can move toward him, instead of running away.  My relationship with Jesus is not determined by my record, but by his record.

 

Thanks Lisle for the sermon on John 21!

Posted May 18, 2014 by swanatbagend in reflections

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