Archive for the ‘reality’ Category

Enough   Leave a comment

Maybe everything is not my responsibility.

Maybe what I chose and did five days ago, ten years ago, was right and enough.

Maybe I don’t have to keep wondering if I am following God’s program correctly enough.  Maybe as I turn toward him and honor him more and more, I will be more able to trust that he is working in the world and in me.

Maybe the outcome is not my responsibility.

Maybe it’s really not as complicated as I think.

Wouldn’t that be great?

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Posted October 17, 2018 by swanatbagend in reality

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Normal   Leave a comment

I observed last week that my life seems to be zipping along at a ridiculous rate, and I now have quite a bit to look back on.  What this made me think about was that in many ways, I’ve managed a variety of difficult situations, or chronic problems, over the years.  What I didn’t know starting out was how ongoing the problems would be.

There was always something that I was waiting for the resolution of.  Always something that wasn’t done.  First it was waiting to have my first child.  Then I had to recover from the experience of having my first child.  Then once I had adjusted to motherhood, I had to figure out what happened to me during that first labor and birth.  Once I figured that out I was ready to have another baby.  Then I had to contend with over two years of secondary infertility.

In all those months, things really weren’t normal and they weren’t wrapped up.

I did finally become pregnant and I did have my daughter, at home, avoiding all the problems of the first time.

The transition to parenting two was still a bit difficult, but after the first few months things were normal for a while.  Then she started waking up at night.  Once we got past that, we had diagnoses for my older child, who then needed some therapies.

By the time I had my third child, I figured things would sort out once I dropped the volunteering.  But, my third child slept much less at night than the first two had and we spent months trying to get that challenge sorted out so I could sleep again.

You can see where this is going.

I can count only a couple stretches of time where things were normal, where I wasn’t dealing with some challenge in life with either my children, their health and well-being, or my health.  So I’ve been living it for over twenty-two years now, and that was it.  That was my normal.

And, this year, we just finished a couple of months of what I guess I’d call sort of normal? it was summer, so there was travel, and family, and college orientation, and things to fit in that we didn’t do during the year, and recovering from family events, but there weren’t any major crises besides watching my husband deal with Boston area traffic, so I guess that was normal.  Maybe?

But, then school started with a bang this fall, and the one going to college locally has required more support than expected, and things have really picked up at work for my  husband, so…

Maybe you can take something from this, especially if you are at the beginning of the journey of parenthood.  I pray you get periods of time where it stays the same or there are no major problems to solve.

But it will be normal if you don’t.

Posted September 25, 2018 by swanatbagend in parenting, reality

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Visit 100 Islands. This is Important!!!   Leave a comment

https://www.thisisinsider.com/under-the-radar-islands-everyone-should-visit-in-their-lifetime-2018-8

Check out this article!  Wow!  cool!  Did you know that you should visit one hundred islands before you die?

It’s a super bucket list idea that we can all afford!

Come on everyone; join the race to run toward the prize of seeing your life as less than enough.

Posted September 4, 2018 by swanatbagend in reality

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What is Born Again and Why is it so Scary?   Leave a comment

Why is “born again” so scary?  In some circles, it’s the thing to be, but in others, it’s anathema.

I didn’t grow up comfortably with this expression, and there are certain risks to be taken when defining it.  The phrase has gotten a bad rap because of televangelists, bigots and hateful people.  Words that have been tarnished by misuse may be disliked, but that doesn’t mean they have lost their power.

Jesus used this phrase to explain a change the Spirit makes happen.

It is about accepting something you don’t understand and can’t control.  The wind blows where it wishes.  You don’t know where it comes from or where it is going, but you hear it and you decide you are going with it.

Being born again is what God starts doing in you when you acknowledge that you are not aligned with him, but that you want to be.

Born again is aligning yourself with his reality.  It is acknowledging that you are not with him and not where he is, and telling him that you want that to be different.

Born again simply starts with acknowledgment.  It’s what the son said to the prodigal father, who never stopped loving the son and longing for the day when he would come back home: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

The father immediately brings the son in, clothes him in the best robe, applies the jewels, slips the sandals on, and starts the preparations for the biggest feast ever.  There’s no ritual washing.  There’s no list of promises the son must make to be allowed admittance.  As far as I can tell, this gracious father doesn’t even take time to reply to the son’s apology!

Notice the prodigal nature of the love that the father has.  Imagine what power the love of that father has in the life of the son.  Imagine what power the love of that father has in your life.

Born again is seeing what will happen.

 

 

 

Posted May 15, 2018 by swanatbagend in reality, reflections

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Stranger Things   Leave a comment

I read in a news magazine that Netflix streaming has taken over the media world.  I also learned that I wasn’t the only person binge watching Stranger Things.

I think I know why it is so gripping.

Other shows about aliens feature a creature from outside the world.  But Stranger Things is terrifying because the evil awful thing is here, in this world.  It’s there, just on the other side, and we know it could take us in.  I think this is our greatest fear as individuals and probably as a culture as well.

And why can we not vanquish this monster with a shotgun and some shells?  I admire Will Byers’ courage.  But as viewers know, it didn’t work.  He got sucked into the Upside Down.

I found myself thinking at the moment when Mike, Nancy and Jonathan set it on fire, that it can’t be killed on the up side.  You have to go where it dwells.

At the end of season one, catch the reference to David and Goliath as Will’s friend Lucas fires a rock at the monster.  I was hoping that would somehow be exactly what it needed to get it killed.  Like how the aliens in Signs were injured by water, maybe this one could be vanquished by a rock?  Nope, it was only a temporary blow.  Eleven realized at that point that as much as she would like a new life with Mike’s family, she was the only one who could take the thing down and remove it from this world and protect her first and only friends.

We need a messiah who can enter the Upside Down and slay our foe–someone who while of this world, is also not of this world.

Posted May 1, 2018 by swanatbagend in reality

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Entitlement   Leave a comment

Do you have entitlement issues?

Think of King Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel.  He looked out at his kingdom and empire.  Everything had gone swimmingly so far.  He had no reason to think things would change.  He had no reason to revise his world view.  He was completely unaware that everything he believed about himself was wrong.

Daniel’s initial warning that he must turn away from his pride and arrogance was no more than the buzzing of a fly in the throne room.  It wasn’t comprehended as something significant.  How could it be?  Nebuchadnezzar had never known anything other than his own wealth and power, as natural as the sun rising and the river flowing downhill.  What could possibly divert the flow of the river or stop the sun from powering the earth?  How incomprehensible is a change of fortune!

He was the king, placed there by fortune, and confident in his own right to rule and reign.

And yet, everything he knew was overthrown.

So, entitlement issues.

I’d heard of the younger generation having those.  I’d heard that the demanding, muling, puking, younger generation thought it deserved an easy life, a fun life.  They say Generation X and Y have no tolerance for waiting and hard work.  I gathered some people think that benefits in life that are earned should be handed to them.  I’ve observed people who are inconsiderate of others in the pursuit of their own comfort.  I’ve seen adults behave in childish ways when things don’t go as they planned.

Of course, I am not one of those people.

I got aggravated when my grocery store somehow deleted our alternate ID so that when my husband did $200 of grocery shopping for me but forgot his discount card, he couldn’t get the discount.  That’s crazy they can’t keep their computer systems functioning normally so I can get the discounts I depend on.

I got aggravated when colds, flu and other fatiguing health issues plagued our family over the last six weeks.  Honestly, when it is going to end?  It’s not like I haven’t been washing my hands like crazy and feeding everyone really healthy food.

I got aggravated at the colleges who admitted my daughter, the ones who keep sending her and us recruiting letters telling us how fantastic their programs are.  You could paper a wall with them.  One even sent her a pair of socks–she’s supposed to go watch an online video to understand that one.  I can’t believe that while they claim she deserves their glorious educational programs, they aren’t funding the bottom line.

I’ve been the one who finds the words, “So, are we having fun yet?” coming out of my mouth.

So.

I read about Nebuchadnezzar, and instead of thinking what a moron the guy is, I am starting to identify with him.

 

Posted April 5, 2018 by swanatbagend in identity, reality

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Helpless   Leave a comment

Life is supposed to be ever onward and upward.  Our culture, as you’ve probably already been told by other bloggers, developed from the American dream, which all started when someone had the audacity to decide our country would be based upon people having the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Somehow, since then, our raison d’être has ballooned to include not just the pursuit of happiness, but the thing itself.

Advertising and media envelop us in images of how it is supposed to be.  Life is full of sunshine, with healthy athletic attractive families prancing across fields.  If you just see the right doctors and buy the right car, take the right medication, get your kid into the right college, your existence will travel forward on this pleasant upward trajectory–forever.

It is true that we do learn skills and competences, and move toward being more independent as we grow and develop from a helpless infant to an adult.  We are responsible to do what we can with what we’re given and not sit around waiting for someone else to do the work.

However, our care of our bodies cannot stop unexpected events from happening.  Our work doesn’t guarantee that we will have a meaningful career, grow older with a loving spouse, and have a pleasant retirement, despite our culture relentlessly pushing this model as what to expect, what should be.

While our skills are valuable and meaningful, they can’t save us from old age and death.

I’d like to think they could, but all I have to do is look around me.  I look at my own life.  Despite doing what is in me with the strength I’ve been given to live a good life, so many of the big things that make the most difference long-term, I don’t control.

I like to think I am in control of them.  I work hard to make things be the best they can be.  And I know how I think things should be.

I make choices all the time.  I work.  I respond.  I choose.  It’s not that I have no power.

But my power is limited.  I don’t control the forces that have the most influence on me–what happens to me and who is by my side when it happens.  I cannot by sheer will command the ocean to roar and another human being to do what I think is right and my heart, mind, soul and strength to be what I think they ought to be.

I am hemmed in on every side by my impotence.

 

Posted November 21, 2017 by swanatbagend in identity, reality

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